Are Boundaries Biblical??

 

Are  Boundaries Biblical?? YES!!

As Christians we need boundaries in order to have healthy
relationships. It is easy to overlook this important step. Boundaries
are an important part of our lives and others. It is important for our
spiritual, physical, mental and emotional health.

Think of boundaries as your personal fence, that protects your
personal space. You are at a healthy distance, but it keeps out anyone
or anything that can cause harm, physically, mentally or emotionally. It
is a line where you end and they begin. It defines who you are, a
sense of ownership.

It allows you to be in control of your time, energy, resources and money,
when to say yes and when to say no. You decide what you will and will
not tolerate. 
 
Sometimes people are difficult, hurtful, and hard to be around. They
suck the life right out of you, zap your energy, get you off track,
discourage you, and damage you emotionally, and leave you feeling
awful. If you feel like this, it is time to set boundaries.

Boundaries are for us personally(this is my jurisdiction and you don't
have the right to cross it), this helps protect us from people who have
no self control.

We should pray and forgive, and hand it over to God!
Forgiveness doesn't mean we have to let them back in.
Forgiveness is given and trust is earned! 

Even Jesus set boundaries!

Matthew 14:22-23(Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the
boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the
crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by
himself to pray. 

Mark 1:35(Very early in the morning, while it was still
dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where
he prayed)

**Jesus took care of his needs, and he prioritized his time, so should we!

 

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What does the Bible say about Codependency!

 

Codependency is a choice mentally in which people use each
other to get their emotional needs met in a selfish way.

Where did codependency come from: It comes from pain we
suffered as a child, and becomes expressed in adulthood. It is
self-loathing and self-sacrificial behaviors, which brings misery
instead of joy.

Instead of unconditional love an acceptance, they use each other, 
to get something for themselves.

They rely on each other for their emotional and physical needs,
instead of taking care of themselves. Plus they lack confidence in
God to care for their needs, and manipulate others to get what they
want.

This way they both feel OK, even though, it's unhealthy.

They avoid the truth in love and have trouble recognizing their own
sinful habits, and need for repentance.

Pride, fear and boundaries are related to codependency.
(Proverbs 29:25) The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever
trusts in the Lord is safe. Pride keeps us from seeing our self,
the way God sees us. God loves us regardless, but he also says
we are wicked and need a Savior. (Mark 10:18) And Jesus said to
him, 'Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone. 
This can offend people's pride!

Codependent people are loyal, but in a toxic way, because they
support sinful and even illegal behavior. They even deny they have a
problem.

It's fear driven, because they want people to like them, this results in
people pleasing behaviors, it's about their own selfish desires.

Codependents don't feel whole, and copy others to gain a sense of
identity. This keeps them from making their own choices. It is about
control, they try to manipulate and control others, rather than focus
on themselves, an overstep peoples boundaries. We need healthy
boundaries to maintain a healthy relationship.

The Bible gives us instructions by telling us how we ought to relate to
one another. Instead of codependent it is interdependency(mutually
responsible to others while sharing responsibilities.) 

Solutions:

Jesus said we are to love one another equal to ourselves, not more
than ourselves. Codependents consider themselves of no value, and
people please, They act out of guilt and fear, and need to be needed(so
they use the other person to meet their own needs. They need each
other to be OK, so they will be OK!

Solution 1: they need to gain their self-worth through Jesus Christ, it's
not based on work, or the service you perform. Service is a choice.
Solution 2: they need to have balanced living and take care of them-
selves.

Solution 3: they need to live balanced lives, take responsibility for their
own health and well-being.

Solution 4: they need to have healthy boundaries and set limits, and
not allow others to compromise those boundaries.

Solution 5: they need to help in appropriate ways, by letting others act
independently, rather than making others dependent on them.

Solution 6: they need to learn to be God directed, knowing that God
brings the ultimate results.

Christian Counselors can help with Codependency-by encouraging
and being honest and can model healthy living. Codependency is
not biblical. The scriptures are not characterized by manipulation,
dependency, or control others, or striving for approval. Christians find
their identity in Christ, by being loved, accepted, forgiven and redeemed
by Jesus Christ.

God Bless and for daily motivation go and follow my Facebook Page